im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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