my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
