I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
