the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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