I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
