if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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