ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
