So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
