I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
