Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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