My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
