Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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