Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
