i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
