a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
