and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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