i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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