She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize