I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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