You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
