She said her name was "party"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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