But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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