I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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