im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize