Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
