omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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