after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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