Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
