I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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