So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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