Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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