after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
