put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Screwed.edu
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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