Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
