your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
