Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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