So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
