I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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