Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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