Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
