I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He better not be in your backpack
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
