im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
