How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So squirting runs in the family.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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