Already got asked if we're dating
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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