well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
