have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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