Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
birth control should be required to get into college
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
