of course. lets lasso hookers.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
