...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
accomplished twins. life is a go
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I want her autograph on my taint
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
