If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
