I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
