Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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