Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
