Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
