That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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