I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
