oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it was like eating out sand paper
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
