What a fucking waste of an outfit
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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