You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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