did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
