I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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